Valentine's day - sweet and bitter

When I was about 5 or 6, I infamously wrote "Happy V.D." on all of my Valentines cards which were decorated with lacy paper doilies and stickers.

I had just learned about abbreviations and went a little too far with it (to you kiddies out there, V.D. is an old fashioned term for S.T.D.). The grown-ups chuckled, and Grandma made me re-do the cards, but of course they didn't explain. Somewhere along the line, I figured out all the bittersweet implications of Valentines day and love on my own.

On one hand there is a jaded quality many people have about Valentines day, on the other hand there is the hopeful romantic hype that we subconsciously absorb that plays into longings for love and affection (perhaps from Kindergarten? Fairy tales? Marketing from Hallmark Corp.? Hershey's Chocolate Co.?)

While I've never had any particular expectations when it comes to Valentines day, there are societal obligations that really suck. (Damned if you do, damned if you don't!)

I've always appreciated thoughtfulness that comes my way. But when I think that anyone I cared for, and who cared for me, did things because they felt they "should" or because they thought I might expect it, well, it just makes me feel really, really sad. I think a lot of Valentines Days are negatively colored by obligatory gestures that are disguised as loving moments.

There is nothing more romantic than true thoughtfulness without agenda, or less romantic than an flower arrangement or gift that is a result of "going through the motions."

To celebrate the many shades of feelings that go along with this holiday, here is Mr. Goh Nakamura performing his original song - Surrogate Valentine: